I have no idea why I felt the need to write this post. I had read on a few blogs that it is National Adoption Week and maybe that got me thinking.
You see, I have a sister somewhere out there. She could live in the UK, she could live in Australia, who knows?
The story goes like this – my mum became pregnant when she was young – 18 years old (although that is not young by today’s standards). Her parents were pretty strict and of course did not approve of this. Living in Northern Ireland in a very close community they did not want anyone to know about the pregnancy. So they sent her off to live in England while the pregnancy progressed, telling everyone that she was away at nursing college, and they arranged for the baby to be adopted once it was born.
Even writing it, I can’t believe it actually happened. I suppose I had never thought of my mum as a real person with some secrets in her past. This all got told to me one night when my mum had been drinking. I was completely gobsmacked!
She said she had told my older brother about it years ago when she was scared that he was seeing too many girls – as a “look what can happen” kind of story I guess. Apart from him she hasn’t told anyone else except me. Not even my other brother, who she would be closest to.
I was too shocked to even ask any quesitons about it. It just seemed so surreal. From what she said, I don’t think it was my dad’s baby, although he knew about it and accepted her in spite of it.
I don’t have a great relationship with my mum where I feel I could ask her anything. I wish I could talk to her about it and find out how she feels about it. Would she ever get in contact with her daughter? Has she ever got in contact? We now pretend like the conversation never even happened and I don’t know anything about it. My mum has a brother and a sister and I’m not even sure if they know the truth. I’m pretty sure my mum must think of the daughter she was forced to give away a lot of the time – maybe that explains why she has always been very depressed, and she is now a heavy drinker (I don’t like to say alcoholic).
As for me – would I ever want to try to get in contact with my (half) sister? I must admit I am curious but I don’t think I would ever do it. I was a “surprise” late baby, so this lady must be in her 50’s by now. Maybe I will always wonder about her and wonder if she ever thinks about finding out about her “other family”.
For a great post telling her story of adoption from the other side of the coin, please visit How To Laugh In The Face Of It All.